Arthur Brook’s Rules for Happiness in the Second Half of Our Lives

I turned 50 in March. As anyone close to me will attest, I have taken this whole business of entering “mid-life” quite seriously, or as Arthur C. Brooks calls it, The Second Curve”.

I’ve been following Arthur C. Brook’s column in The Atlantic, “How to Build a Life” since July 2019 when his article “Your Professional Decline is Coming Much Sooner Than You Think” went viral and really hit struck a chord for me. So when his new book “From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life” went viral”, I was at the front of the line for pre-orders.

At the risk of oversimplifying Brook’s brilliant book, here are several of my key takeaways, in hopes that it will pique your interest enough to want to read or listen to it yourself.

From Innovator to Instructor

In our 20’s and 30’s we have what Raymond Cattell coined “fluid intelligence.” This is your ability to solve abstract problems, work hard with focus, and be incredibly inventive. In almost every career, fluid intelligence makes you good at what you do, but it decreases as you age.

The good news is that there is another kind of intelligence that comes later in life that increases in your 40s and 50s (and stays high in your 60s and 70s). This is called “crystallized intelligence.” Crystallized intelligence is about wisdom and passing on knowledge and does not rely on focus and grinding away at work. This is why the best teachers are older.

This idea really resonated with me and helped me understand why the frenzied agency job I would have crushed in my 20s, was no longer a fit when I attempted it again in my late 40s.

Shifting from Resume Virtues to Eulogy Virtues

The changing nature of our intelligence is indicative of a common predicament for many people who suffer from what Brooks calls “The Striver’s Curse”. These are high achievers who are addicted to success and worldly possessions. This can be problematic later in life when their professional abilities start to shift.

One way to avoid this is to re-prioritize what’s important. Brooks suggests embracing a new perspective by distinguishing between “résumé virtues” and “eulogy virtues.” This is a nod to David Brook’s (no relation) suggestion in his book, “The Road to Character”. This seems rather self-explanatory so I won’t go into it in detail here, but here is a TedTalk if you want to take a deeper dive.

Research shows that after the age of about 70, there is a split between increased happiness versus waning happiness (at about 50/50 according to the data). People who tend to experience decreased happiness and dissatisfaction tend to be the ones suffering from the striver’s curse - those who experienced worldly success earlier in life. What goes up must come down. The good news is that with awareness and suggestions offered in Strength to Strength, one can avoid this pitfall.

The Aspen Tree As a Metaphor for a Happy Life

Albert Einstein once said, “Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.” Nature delivers many lessons and Brooks illustrates this with the story of the Aspen Tree as a metaphor for achieving happiness and fulfillment later in life.

The Aspen tree has long been revered as a stately masterpiece and the tree of heroes. “Aspis” is the greek name for Aspen which translates to “shield”. The Greeks revered the Aspen tree for its medicinal and protective qualities. While seemingly majestic on its own, the Aspen is not a metaphor for a striver. Rather, the Aspen tree is a symbol of love and community. You never see just one because they stand in groves, each dependent on a shared and sophisticated root system that allows them to be connected and support one another. An entire grove of Aspen trees is one plant.

Like Aspen trees, we are not meant to stand alone. As we enter into the second half of our lives, it’s important to remember the importance of cultivating our root system. Brooks underscores the importance of having a lot of love in our lives, through friendships, strong family relationships, and partnerships to ensure happiness as we get older. This takes effort and intentionality as we navigate our busy lives - something I’m finding challenging while growing a new business and parenting three teenagers.

I’ll end this with my favorite quote from the book:

“Devote the back half of your life to serving others with your wisdom. Get old sharing the things you believe are most important. Excellence is always its own reward, and this is how you can be most excellent as you age.”

There are so many important nuggets in this book so I hope you’ll read it for yourself. Would love to hear your feedback in the comments below!